Cthulhu

Some Kink-y blasphemy for the holiday season


I met him in a temple down in West Hollywood
Where they drink goat's blood and it tastes just like Mountain Dew-lu
D-E-Double-U, Dew-lu

He appeared on the altar and they went in a trance
I asked him his name and in a pitch black voice he said, Cthulhu
C-T-H-U-L-H-U, Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Well, I'm not the world's most metaphysical guy
But I got chills up my spine when he said I must die
Oh, Lord Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

I'm not dumb but I can't put a lid
On why he talks like a demon but he looks like a squid
Oh, Lord Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Well we drank nectar and we did converse
About the wond'rous universe
He picked me up with his tentacles three
And said, "Would you like your own galaxy?"

Now I'm not the world's most theological guy
But when I looked in his eyes, well I felt like I'd died
For old Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

I cast him away, I ran to the door,
I fell to the floor, I got down on my knees
And I worshipped him and he transformed me

And that's just the way that I want it to stay
Worrying about death is such a primitive way
spake Lord Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Men will be gods, and gods will be squid
It's all a big game from dear old Uncle Sid
And from Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Well I left Earth just an hour before
And I've never ruled my own domain before
But Cthulhu smiled and he turned me around
And showed me it was Cthulhus all the way down

Well I'm not the world's most transcendent man
But I know what I am and what I've always been
And so is Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu
Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthu- Cthulhu

Disney announces _Frozen_ sequel

Reportedly, Disney CEO Bob Iger dropped by director Jennifer Lee's house, and they had this conversation through the front door.

Jenny?
Do you want to make a sequel?
It would make a lot of dough
Now children watch it all for free
On DVD
It's like they never go
They once came out to the theater
And now they don't
And I know the reason why
Do you want to make a sequel
It doesn't have to be a sequel

(Go away, Bob)
Okay, bye....
Do you wanna make a sequel
Religious nuts will think its gay
I think our company needs revenue
Producer's talking to
Some hack for the screenplay....
We just need a little money
All these empty suits
Just watching the quarters tick by...
Please, I know you're in there
Shareholders asking what is next
They say "make profits" and I'm trying to
I want to hire you, just please direct
We only have each other
And the folks in SAG
What are we gonna do?
Do you wanna make a sequel?

Something every development engineer has been through

If Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh had gotten an MBA instead of majoring in art, we may have gotten this:

(bum-bum-bum-bum-BUM) Crack that whip!
(bum-bum-bum-bum-BUM) Schedule's gonna slip!
(bum-bum-bum-bum-BUM) Make the code crash
(bum-bum-bum-bum-BUM) Release date's coming fast

When a deadline comes along, you must ship it
Before the project goes too long, you must ship it
Doesn't matter if its wrong, you must ship it

Now ship it
Make the date!
Kludge it up
Damn straight
Go quickly
Move it out
Try not to test it
Or it might break
So ship it
Ship it now

It won't be on the shelves, unless we ship it
In time for Santa's elves, so we must ship it.
No one gets a break, until we ship it
I say ship it, ship it now
I say ship it, ship it now

Now ship it
Make the date!
Kludge it up
Damn straight
Go quickly!
Move it out
Try not to test it
Or it might break
So ship it
Make the date!
Kludge it up
Damn straight
Go quickly!
Move it out
Try not to test it
Or it might break
So ship it
Ship it now !