If I Had a Million Bitcoins

Because a million dollars just doesn't go very far any more.

If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you some dope (I would buy you some dope)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you brownies for your dope
(Maybe some Ghiradelli or some Pillsbury)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you a Tesla (a nice electric automobile)
If I had a million Bitcoins, I'd buy your love...

If I had a million Bitcoins I'd build a bunker in our yard
If I had a million Bitcoins, you could help it wouldn't be hard
If I had a million Bitcoins, we could put a tiny little pantry in there...
(We could just go down there and hang out. Like open the pantry and stuff, and there'd be foods laid out for us, with canned beans and beer and beef jerky and things. They have canned beer but they don't have canned wine. Well can you blame them? Yeah!)

If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you a Kevlar coat (but not a real Kevlar coat that's cruel)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you a vicious dog (like maybe a Rottweiler or a Shih Tzu)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you Jimmy Hoffa's remains (all them crazy concrete shoes)
If I had a million Bitcoins, I'd buy your love...

If I had a million Bitcoins we wouldn't have to drive to the store
If I had a million Bitcoins we'd buy from Silk Road, that's what they're for
If I had a million Bitcoins We wouldn't have to eat Doritos,.
(But we would eat Doritos. Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive bean dip with it. That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Bean Dip. Mmmmmm.)

If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you a Google Glass (but not a real Google Glass that's cruel)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you some art (a Tom Kincade or an Andy Warhol)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
I'd buy you a lawyer (haven't you always wanted a lawyer?)
If I had a million Bitcoins, I'd buy your love...

If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
If I had a million Bitcoins (If I had a million Bitcoins)
If I had a million Bitcoi-oioi-oins....
I'd be dead.